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You send in a stellar resume. You blow the recruiter away in the phone screen. And you wow everyone you speak with during your in-person interview. And yet, you still don’t get the job. Worst of all, you don’t know why you didn’t get it — you either didn’t hear back at all, or received feedback so vague that it’s virtually useless (e.g. “We decided to go with another candidate who was a better fit.”) Is there anything worse?

It’s incredibly frustrating when a recruiter or hiring manager doesn’t share a concrete reason why you were passed over, but if it happens to you, don’t worry. Often, there’s still a way to figure out what went wrong — here’s how.

1. Reach Out to the Decision Maker

If you have the contact info of the hiring manager, it’s best to chat with them rather than a recruiter or HR representative, says Ren Burgett, career coach and owner of 3R Coach.

“An HR manager or recruiter is more likely to give you a programmed HR response such as, ‘We found a candidate that was a better fit for our needs.’ The hiring manager is more likely to give you a candid response,” she explains.

If you haven’t already been in touch with the hiring manager, though, you may want to reach out to someone who can point them in your direction.

“If you don’t have their contact details, you need to get in touch with whoever your point of contact was throughout the recruitment process. Even if they can’t provide feedback themselves, they will be able to pass your query onto someone who can,” says Steve Pritchard, HR Manager at Cuuver.com.

When you haven’t been given the hiring manager’s contact information, it can be tempting to bypass your point of contact and look them up on LinkedIn or Google their email address, but this is a mistake, Pritchard says: “They may not feel too comfortable with you contacting them using a number/email they didn’t provide you with.”

2. Express Gratitude

Nobody wants to engage with a candidate who sounds demanding or presumptuous, so make sure to open your message with a note of thanks.

“Thanking someone for [taking the] time to interview you and provide the opportunity can always start the conversation in a positive manner,” says Shanalee Sharboneau, President and Technical Recruiter at Staffing Science, LLC.

In particular, you should express gratitude for the fact that they are going out of their way to read your note. After all, they don’t have to share feedback with you.

“Show in your request for feedback that you appreciate the recruiter or hiring manager is likely to be busy. This way, you don’t sound too pushy or demanding,” Pritchard adds.

3. Be Positive

You may be upset that you didn’t get the job, but remember: you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. It’s okay to acknowledge that you’re disappointed with the outcome, but don’t express resentment or aggression.

Show “that you are understanding of their decision not to hire you, otherwise, you may sound bitter about not getting the job rather than someone looking for honest feedback to help them with their job search,” Pritchard continues.

And instead of taking a self-deprecating approach like “How did I screw up” or “Where did I go wrong”, frame the conversation as a quest for personal growth.

“Don’t make your question about ‘why’ you didn’t get the job, make your question about ‘how’ you can improve. People are more likely to respond to someone that seeks out growth as opposed to someone that just wants answers,” Burgett says.

4. Keep it Short and Specific

When reaching out for feedback, “make your email no more than one paragraph,” Burgett recommends. After all, they are probably plenty busy with their day-to-day tasks, so you want to make sure to honor their time.

You can save them even more time by avoiding general questions like “Why didn’t I get the job?” and instead drilling down into a few precise issues. Burgett recommends including “two to three specific questions [that] you would like feedback on from the interview process.”

One question that Laura Handrick, Career Analyst at FitSmallBusiness.com, recommends asking is “what might you have done, said or provided differently that would have made the company choose YOU instead of the other candidate.”

5. Open the Door for Future Opportunities

Just because you were rejected from a job doesn’t always mean that you can never apply there again — you may have been a close second. At the end of your message, reiterate your interest in the company (if you are truly interested) and consider adding something like “if anything changes, I’d love to connect regarding future opportunities.”

“That will go far, and many times, new hires fail in the first few months. They’ll remember your graciousness,” Handrick says.

You can also see if they might be willing to refer you to another opportunity.

“Always end the email by asking if they know of anyone else you can reach out to as you continue your job search. If you didn’t get the job, perhaps you can get a lead [for] another job. Use this as an opportunity to network,” Burgett says.

6. Be Patient and Ready to Take No for an Answer

If the person you reach out to fails to respond, don’t ping them every day until they do.

“Giving feedback, particularly constructive feedback, is hard, so allowing time for preparing will likely get you more thoughtful responses,” points out Dr. Dawn Graham, Career Management Director at the Wharton School and host of Career Talk.

Even if they never respond, you shouldn’t pester them, Graham adds.

“Companies tend to avoid giving candidates feedback to avoid opening themselves up to risk,” she explains. “In addition, many hirers have trouble putting their fingers on a clear definition of ‘fit’ or likability, which are two powerful aspects of hiring decisions that can be challenging to put into words. Therefore, they may pass on giving feedback to a rejected job seeker for the sheer reason that even they are unable to verbalize their final decision in a way that will be meaningful to the overlooked applicant.”

Sample Message

Want an example of what exactly you could say to a hiring manager? Burgett recommends the following:

Hi (Hiring Manager),

I wanted to thank you for the amazing opportunity to interview for the position of (job title) with your company. I really enjoyed learning about (company name) and getting to know you and your team during the interview process. I understand you have decided to move forward with another candidate that better fits your current needs.

As I continue my job search, I would love to get your feedback on how I can improve as a candidate. When you have a minute, could you provide insight into what I can improve upon to help me stand out and progress in my career? Specifically, I would appreciate feedback on the following:

1. What is the one skill I can improve upon to help advance my career that may be holding me back?

2. If I had the opportunity to redo my interview, what is the one thing I should have done differently?

I appreciate any candid feedback you can offer as it will help me understand the areas I need to improve. Additionally, if you know of any companies that may be hiring for similar positions or anyone else I should reach out to as I continue my job search, please let me know.

Again, thank you for the opportunity to interview for the position. I wish you and your team continued success.

Sincerely,

Your Name

There’s no doubt that getting rejected from a job you were interested in is upsetting, and it can be doubly so if you don’t hear actionable feedback from the hiring team. But odds are, it’s nothing personal, so try not to take it that way. And remember — the right job is out there. It’s only a matter of time until you find it.

This article originally appeared on Glassdoor and was re-published with permission.

Virtual reality (VR) is one of those technologies, it seems, that will be eternally “emerging.”

Don’t get me wrong — it’s certainly becoming more of a household topic. Twenty years ago, one might only come across VR in museums, science fairs, and laboratories. Now, they’re available for purchase by anyone who has an internet connection … and the budget to pay for one.

Several major tech players are trying to make VR a mainstream technology. Maybe the hardware needs to be less clunky and a wireless, lightweight headset is the answer.

Or maybe the obstacle is price point — to which Facebook’s answer (to both issues) was the wireless, $199 “affordable” Oculus Go.

Truthfully, I’ve always been a bit skeptical of VR. I remember being quite fascinated with it at a west coast science museum at the age of 13, and since then, my only real exposure to it has been by way of any VR-related news I’ve covered, or different demos I’ve tried at industry events. Even after receiving a complimentary Oculus Go as a token of thank-you swag for attending F8 in May, the headset sat on my desk, neglected an unopened for over a month.

I’m in the small percentage of people who talk about technology on a near-daily basis — and yet, I was less than enamored with the idea of giving my very own Oculus Go for a spin.

But then — I did. And everything changed.

Because I’m a nerd, I’ve always wondered what prevents VR from becoming a mainstream technology as quickly as some of the businesses behind it wish it would. People have paid more for less practical tech tools — things like the first edition of any new iPhone, for instance, for which masses are willing to pay the initial price.

So, at the end of the day, maybe VR isn’t as practical — but it is plain cool. You can watch documentaries in an immersive, 360-degree way. You can play sports. You can visit other countries.

Maybe — just maybe — what’s standing in the way of VR’s market permeation is the small percentage of people who actually get to experience it.

To test this hypothesis, I passed around my Oculus Go to several members of my team. After spending a day engaging in various VR experiences — and accomplishing little else — here’s what we learned.

(P.S. Here’s a sneak preview of a short film I like to call, “Amanda Tries a VR Roller Coaster.”)

Here’s What Playing With a VR Headset Is Actually Like

On VR’s Market Permeability

Before we took the headset for a spin, I asked Paul Mealy, author of Virtual & Augmented Reality For Dummies, for his thoughts on VR’s potential — if any — to go mainstream. But that’s not easy, he said, considering that “mainstream” is often a subjective concept.

If “mainstream” means “millions of devices purchased,” Mealy explains, “then VR is already mainstream” — though that figure still falls short of Facebook (which owns Oculus) CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s ultimate goal of one billion people using VR … eventually.

But what will the composition of those one billion users look like? Will they be using VR for fun, business, or both?

“If the definition of mainstream is, ‘Will I find myself going to the office and donning a VR headset for all my work, and going home and putting on my VR headset for all my entertainment,'” says Mealy, “then we still have a ways to go.”

Arguably, the “fun” use cases for VR are growing more rapidly than the B2B ones — though the latter is slowly making progress. Take the example of Tobii Pro, a tech company that pairs VR with eye-tracking technology to help retailers learn where a shopper pays the most visual attention and plan store layout accordingly. I took it for a spin at SXSW in March:

“Very similar to an in-store shop-along or in-depth interview research, this is another tool that can be added on top of that,” said Amanda Bentley, Tobii Pro’s Director Of Commercial Sales (whose voice can be heard in the background of the video above). “You can get another layer of understanding not only how shoppers feel … but also, what information do they actually process? What are they attending to as they’re making the decision to purchase products?”

But, it’s early, Mealy says — and it’s not a question of “if” VR will go mainstream, but “when.”

“It is important that we take a step back and look at the full picture for VR. Most VR hardware is still in the first generation of devices,” he explains. “And these first generation devices are serving as the canary in the coal mine to manufacturers, helping them refine what consumers actually want in order to become a mass-consumable device.”

So, when will VR finally win over the masses?

“Three to five years out seems like an appropriate time to truly evaluate where VR is landing in the grand scheme of things,” Mealy says. “If, by then, manufacturers have still been unable to solve the price and experience points … that is the time to question VR’s future. But, as of now, consider me bullish on the future of VR.”

Our Team’s Experience

Now, for the fun part: our team taking VR for a spin.

For most of us, this experiment was the first instance of using VR — which made for low expectations as to how realistic, engaging, or nauseating the experience would be. (In full disclosure, I experience motion sickness with VR, and apparently, I’m not alone.)

But for the most part, the technology was well-received … and, perhaps, even more fun to watch than to actually experience.

Caroline Forsey, Staff Writer, HubSpot Marketing Blog

The experience:

Bear Island

The video:

The summary:

“VR is different than watching something on a screen, because it’s all around you … and behind you, and in your peripheral vision. Despite how ‘logically’ smart I am at understanding what VR is, I still think it can trick my brain into somewhat believing I’ in a different place. For instance, when the bear came towards me I couldn’t help but flinch. It’s bizarre but impressive that a piece of technology can influence your physiological reactions.”

Clifford Chi, Junior Staff Writer, HubSpot Marketing Blog

The experience:

Cloudlands: VR Minigolf

The video:

The summary:

“VR mini golf was better than real mini golf. That was my first VR experience, and I felt like I was in a different world. After my first putt, I tried to walk toward the ball. I ended up running into a pillar in the office. And when I looked down at my feet and saw that the golf course was on a cliff, I thought I was going to fall for a split second. The Oculus and VR are super realistic and impressive. I definitely want to try it again.”

Braden Becker, Senior Staff Writer, HubSpot Marketing Blog

The experience:

Epic Roller Coasters

The video:

The summary:

“I was really surprised how easily VR takes over your peripheral vision. The experience literally surrounds you, to the point where I actually felt like I was on a roller coaster. I’m also not the biggest fan of heights, and that particular Oculus Go game definitely played right into my senses.”

Karla Cook, Section Editor, HubSpot Marketing Blog

The experience:

Cloudlands: VR Minigolf

The video:

The summary:

“The environment was clearly not realistic, but it still felt like I was there. The whole experience was surprisingly disorienting. I was playing mini-golf on a platform floating in the clouds, and I dangled my leg off the platform, and freaked out. The process of using the remote to interact with the environment didn’t feel intuitive to me. It’s worth trying out for the novelty factor, but I definitely wouldn’t buy it.”