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You might not know it by looking at me, but I am a bloodthirsty and ruthless killer.

That’s right, dear reader. That grinning exterior belies the horror of a murderer, born between the years of 1980 and 2000 and hell-bent on destruction.

That’s right: I’m a millennial.

Millennials — the enigmatic demographic marketers are desperately trying to decode and squeeze more money out of — are wreaking havoc on the industry ecosystem. With our smartphones, our laziness, and our avocado toast, we cruelly dash the hopes of anything surviving our wrath.

Bar soap, beer, and the movies — all dead at the hands of entitled recent college grads.

Have you ever enjoyed a glass of sparkling rosé on a rooftop patio, then saved the rest of the bottle for later by closing it with a wine cork? Tough cookies — we’re coming for wine corks faster than you can say, “Snapchat.”

Nobody should really be surprised at the wrath of millennials. We’re staring down the barrel of skyrocketing costs of living, crippling student loan debt, and the rising probability the world will go up in flames during our tenure as “grown-ups.” All that stress has bubbled over and made us vengeful, killing machines — and we’re unstoppable.

In light of these dark and difficult conditions, I want to personally apologize for my generation — and lighten the collective internet’s mood with these 12 hilarious tweets about the various industries, foods, activities, and ideas my people have killed over the last couple of years.

12 Things Millennials Have Killed

1) Marriage

Millennials are waiting longer to get married than their parents, and they’ve been accused of killing the sacred act. But some of us argue that we’re not anti-marriage — we’re just waiting until we have our lives a little more together before settling down.

“Millennials are waiting until their 30’s to get married” ya our 20’s are reserved for crippling debt and unpaid internships

— Eliza Doll (@itselizadoll)
June 22, 2017

2) Napkins

We’re not gross — millennials just aren’t buying as many napkins because we’re buying paper towels instead. Another one bites the dust.

I see articles about Millennials preferring paper towels over napkins, but no reports about me repping Gen X by wiping my hands on my pants.

— Amy Dillon (@amydillon)
October 11, 2017

3) Golf

Millennials aren’t hitting the links as often as other demographic groups. Maybe they just don’t like the great outdoors — or maybe the cost to play is too high for our tight budgets. Nobody tell Tiger Woods.

Sure, millennials are killing off real estate, diamonds, golf, and napkins, but at least we’ve kept #slime alive! https://t.co/SToGRMKeHA

— Courtney Shupert (@courtelizashup)
October 1, 2017

4) Applebee’s

I haven’t sampled the menu at Applebee’s enough to say what it’s most famous for. But evidently, it’s not enough to impress the most discerning of millennials — because they’re steering clear of Applebee’s and other fast-casual dining spots. 

Article: “Millennials are killing Applebee’s”

Applebee’s: “Dollar margaritas.”

Me, a broke millennial: “LET’S GO GET DRUNK AT APPLEBEES”

— struggles & sass (@struggs_n_sass)
October 17, 2017

5) Homeownership

When an Australian real estate tycoon suggested millennials could invest in real estate if they were stricter with their discretionary spending — citing avocado toast as the main culprit — we revolted on Twitter.

While it is true that fewer millennials are buying homes compared to renting them, avocado toast probably isn’t the only reason why …

Alright, I did the math. If I stopped eating avocado toast every day, I would be able to afford a bad house in Los Angeles in 642 years. http://pic.twitter.com/nqhiqnQ07E

— Kaleb Scary Horton (@kalebhorton)
May 15, 2017

6) Diamonds

“A diamond is forever” — unless you’re a millennial.

Maybe it’s because we’re waiting to get married, maybe it’s because we’re still scarred from seeing the movie Blood Diamond, or maybe it’s the diamond’s traditionally high price.

Any way you slice it, we’re not buying, and people are confused as to why …

I work at a grocery store

— Barstool Disliker (@CowlonFullerton)
July 1, 2016

7) Department Stores

Millennials aren’t shopping at department stores like Macy’s and Sears as much as their forebearers — instead electing to shop online or not shop at all.

love 2 be a millennial sitting on my giant hoard of cash, willfully refusing to buy:
– diamonds
– houses
– department store things

— tekla (@alketrolyat)
May 14, 2017

8) Cable

Everyone’s cutting the cable cord these days — led by millennials, who are opting to subscribe to streaming services like Netflix and Hulu in lieu of paying for traditional cable packages.

It comes as a surprise to some of us who remember being lectured about watching too much TV when we were younger … 

1997: Son there are better things to do than watch TV all day and cable is expensive
2017: How #millennials are killing the cable industry

— Aaron McRuer (@M_c_Ruer)
August 31, 2017

9) Yogurt

Yogurt — specifically light yogurt — is next on the millennial chopping block. Instead, we’re opting for Greek yogurt.

I don’t identify with millennials but I’ll dance on light yogurt’s grave with them, that’s for damn sure

— Elisa Gabbert (@egabbert)
September 23, 2016

10) Fabric Softener

Millennials aren’t buying fabric softener — and as it turns out, it’s partly because we don’t know exactly what it does. 

me, sipping from a tall glass of fabric softener as I watch golf on the TV at Applebees: millennials really need to get their priorities straight

— DSA Teatro Grottesco (@costaggini)
October 2, 2017

11) Banks

Millennials are choosing other banking and lending solutions other than the traditional brick-and-mortar institutions — and some people aren’t at all surprised.

12) Grocery Stores

Last on the list: grocery stores.

That’s right — millennials aren’t cooking at home as much, so they’re bypassing the grocery store in favor of meal kit delivery services and dining out. 

Why, you might ask?

need it to live. next question http://pic.twitter.com/PrkFHlhZ6U

— brian feldman (@bafeldman)
August 14, 2015

If you’re a young startup just beginning to find your footing in the business world, having a quality, professional-looking logo can help you look great in front of potential investors and clearly establish what your brand stands for.

Designing a logo that is simple enough to be absorbed and understood quickly, but still conveys the many meanings a brand might depend on is not an easy task. Generating creative logo ideas can be very time-consuming.

On ABC’s Shark Tank, companies only have a few minutes to pitch their business to the panel of investors, which means their logo needs to say a lot about what kind of business they are.

I’ve examined 96 companies from Shark Tank, Season 8 (check the full list here) and selected the best Shark Tank logos, explaining in-depth why each logo works and which design elements make it great.

The process of designing a logo requires an enormous amount of patience and an obsession with getting it right. So whether you’re a designer looking for some inspiration or an entrepreneur looking for logo design ideas for your business — you’re in the right place! Check out my analysis of the logos below to inspire your own design.

8 Best Shark Tank Logos

1. Toymail
2. Edn
3. Vibes
4. LaidBrand
5. RinseKit
6. Chirps
7. Tranquilo
8. Biem

How do you judge a logo?

A good logo is distinctive, appropriate, practical, graphic, simple in form, and conveys an intended message. The most successful companies continue to say:

Simpler is better.

And these companies definitely made the right hiring decision, whether they hired an independent design or a design agency, their logos came out well executed.

I’m going to judge these Shark Tank logos only in terms of their pure visual aesthetics without discussing the whole identity system, and how these logos work on the applications like websites, stationery design etc.

Simple ≠ Easy

Remember that the simplest ideas often require many hours of tweaking design concepts. Simplicity is something that is achieved by eliminating unnecessary elements — going from a visual clutter to a visual essence.

Principles of a Good Logo 

I have judged all the Shark Tank logos by the following five criteria:

1. Simplicity: Is the design simple and clean enough to be flexible and easily recognizable? Is it not too busy, distracting, or confusing?
2. Memorability: Is it quickly recognizable? Is it clever? Will people only have to spend a second or two thinking about it to get it?
3. Timelessness: Will it still be a great logo in 10, 20, or even 50 years?
4. Versatility: Does it scale to different sizes without losing quality or clarity? Will it work across various media and within different contexts?
5. Appropriateness: Does it resonate with the desired audience and industry of the business?

The 8 Best Startup Logos from Shark Tank Season 8

1) Toymail 

The pitch: Toymail is a toy with hidden components inside that allow you to send a message to your kids. With just a push of a button, kids can connect to Mom, Dad, grandparents, or friends at any time, from anywhere. Parents use the Toymail app to send messages. Approve your child’s trusted circle through the Toymail app.

The logo is attractive for its unique toy-contour and a modern geometric typeface. The icon and the wordmark use a one-weight line which sets a unified style. The bright pink color is appropriate for a toy-company.

2) Edn 

The pitch: Edn is a seed pod to grow your tiny garden indoor. Now anyone can master growing herbs, vegetables and flowers within the comfort of their home. The Small Garden’s soil-free technology takes care of your plants, so you don’t need to. The seed pods are dirt-free, so there’s no mess to clean up.

The wordmark feels very light and clean. The line over the “e” adds some character to it and marks the accent. The turquoise color adds a sense of nature and an organic feel to this slim and elegant typography.

3) Vibes 

The pitch: Vibes are designed to enhance your live music experience. They lower decibel levels of your environment without sacrificing sound clarity. You hear true natural sound the way it was intended: clear, clean, controlled.

The minimalist execution is perfectly calibrated with a sturdy sans serif, just the right amount of airy letter-spacing. The icon adopts the silhouette of the earplugs and highlights the first letter in a distinctive & unique way.

4) LaidBrand

The pitch:  LaidBrand is a pheromone-enriched hair care. Pheromones are naturally occurring chemicals in humans, and to put it simply without getting too technical, pheromones trigger responses. Whether you are trying to attract a mate or just exude that extra boost of confidence, pheromones play a huge part in achieving those desires.

The new wordmark is quite elegant and striking and the characteristic cuts on both sides add some sexy touch to it. There’s a great harmony between the cuts and the middle “A” letters. Overall, a great logo that sets a strong tone and makes it feel like something completely different.

5) RinseKit

 The pitch: RinseKit is the only portable shower to have the pressure of a garden hose without pumping or batteries. With up to 4 minutes of spray time, RinseKit’s 2 gallon system holds pressure for over a month.

Overall, this is a very bold and dynamic logo. I like the underline that symbolizes a stream of water. Very confident, flat design with a special treatment that makes it look unique. It’s a complete conceptual and graphic solution.

6) Chirps 

The pitch: Chirps are chips made of bugs — crickets. When we first started Chirps, many people told us to hide the fact that our foods have bugs and just talk about the nutritional benefits. That’s not us. We started Chirps because we want people to know that bugs are delicious, nutritious, and sustainable.

It is a crisp and bold icon that has a great presence. Very impressive logo. The subtle modifications to the “i” letter turn it into a bug which perfectly embodies the main ingredient: bugs.

7) Tranquilo

The pitch: The Tranquilo Mat is a portable vibrating mat that soothes baby in the crib, stroller, or on the go! The mat helps baby transition from a mother’s womb to the world during the “fourth trimester” after birth.

The logotype is an expressive and playful script that embodies the feel-good of the soothing mat. The friendly curves of the hand-scripted font and the light green color create an approachable and optimistic vibe.

8) Biem

The pitch:  Biem is the handheld device that transforms a stick of real butter to a spray in seconds, making cooking, home entertaining, and baking infinitely easier.

I like the concept of the “i” being a spray bottle with the spray beam coming out of it, which captures perfectly what it is about in a simple way. The beam is neither too big nor too small to serve as a graphic trigger for something memorable.

Feature image credit: ABC